These people SUCK! (Part – 2)
Welcome to the second edition of the “People who Suck” list.
In the previous one we’d put together a list of five noxious types that invite a punch in the sucker.
This list brings forth an equally nauseating set of jackasses you’d want to throw in a sack, throw the sack in the boot, and proceed to complete the Raid De Himalaya rally. However I’d urge to to resist that temptation as the very first set includes me.
6. People who can’t go to the gym without posting their workouts on social media.
You are NOT a fitness model.
And even if you are, you just make people feel sick with your unending narcissistic ego massage shoved onto Instagram timelines.
No one is interested in how much weight you picked up, using a muscle that most people don’t even know existed.
No one wants to see you wheezing and heaving and making faces that look like you’re in the middle of delivering a baby. Through your rectum.
Get out of the gym and get a fucking life.
Your self absorbed display of endless reps of stroking your own ego are cringe-worthy and make others want to throw a dumbbell square in your face.
It’s time you realize that you’re gonna die as shriveled up as the rest of em, unless off-course your progressive hernia gets the best of you.
It’s time to stop being fodder for jokes and/or self pleasure.
It’s time to stop posting your workout.
7. People who post make up videos on Instagram.
Really. Isn’t there enough ugliness in the world? Isn’t it enough that we’re besieged by hunger, poverty, rapists, pedophiles, people shitting by the railway track, and Donald Trump?
Why would you subject the world to the art of “looking worse by the end of the video”?
That should only be limited to sites that most people choose not to access in public.
Honestly, you’re even worse than the gymmer-on-Insta category. At least their shit takes making a decent amount of effort!
A monkey will remain a monkey. No matter which shade of slutty red, embarrassing crimson, or turd brown you put on its lips. Actually, it will still remain a monkey, although a hideous looking one.
No amount of contouring will hide the fat you’ve gained on your face by stuffing it with sugary donuts over the years. It will either remain woefully inadequate, or make you look like a transvestite.
Either way is wasted effort.
The world could make a case against you for cheating. For helping beguile drunk guys in a dark night club. But honestly, who’s gonna take a face that looks like THAT, home?
There is a reason that people you’ve coerced to be in your videos look as soul-less as they do. No. Actually there are TWO reasons why they look as soul-less as they do.
One, it’s hard to have an expression without having that amount of product crack and fall off. And two, because they know they’ve been stiffed, and want to give your face a nice contour of purple, but they can’t, and the realization only wants to make em speed up the ultimate advent of death.
8. Families living under one roof, holding conversations through Facebook comments.
There are two things that should be kept personal. Religion, and your penis.
Let me add a third. Your conversations, WHEN YOU LIVE UNDER ONE FUCKING ROOF AND POSSESS WORKING CELLPHONES!
X posts picture on Facebook
Y (who lives in the next room, or maybe is even sitting on the same couch) comments: “You look gorgeous in that dress.”
X comments: “Awww! Thank You”
Y comments: “God Bless”
Z (not to be left behind in taking imaginary credit): WOW babes! You look stunning!
(X, Y & Z are in the same room while all this jackassery is being peddled around)
X comments: “Thanks for buying this dress for me love. You are the BEST!”
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
Is everyone suffering from an acute case of gingivitis?
Are we to assume that you can’t STAND interacting with each other face to face, so you resort to these online shenanigans?
Is your whatsapp dead?
Do you not know how “calling someone” works anyway?
Why do you subject everyone to such a pathetic display of circle-jerking?
Honestly, we’re sick of your pseudo compliments that’d want to make a 90s slam book self-destruct. We DON’T want to hear the this tune in our heads every time we see you and your A, B, C, D, Y & Z!
So for the sake of pride, love, family, and all that is sacred.
9. People who cannot travel internationally without “checking in” to a premium airport lounge.
Of all the ways of showing-off, this one probably is the most pathetic.
Seriously, what do you want to prove by pulling this antic off every time you travel to some place beyond the borders of this country?
That you have enough money to travel internationally? Guess everyone who gives a shit already knows that.
That you take short term loans at a very high rate of interest from X bank to fuel your foot-picture-vacations? Guess everyone who gives a shit… Wait. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT! NO ONE. ZERO. NADA.
Everyone just secretly despises you for being such a shameless show-off.
Please realize. You JUST bought a very expensive drink at a certain location which you have access to JUST because you have money, and now are shoving that information in everyone’s face.
Please realize. You did nothing to improve your social standing by doing this. All you did, was take a giant amplifier to shout “I have no class” through, while simultaneously getting an invisible to you, but visible to everyone else tattoo that says “I am a douchebag”.
It’s similar to the emperor having no clothes. Only this time, it’s not a parade, but a visit to your “premium” travel lounge.
10. People who are proud of being from a certain caste or community or race.
Let me get this straight. You are proud of being a part of a certain section of society. Right?
Okay now let me break this to you very gently. In the case of belonging to a certain caste, there was no effort on YOUR part.
One night, or day, your parents got naked, or didn’t, and made sauce. A few unfortunate months later, you happened.
And I MEAN it when I use the words “you happened”, and not “you came to this world” or, “you took your first breath”. Because that would imply effort on your part.
There. Was. None.
Hence, being proud for being a part of your caste/community/race is pretty much like being an Indian and ordering a round of beers for everyone at the pub if a fellow countryman won an Olympic gold. You’re just taking pride in someone’s achievement, while having done nothing to contribute to it.
Hell this analogy isn’t great. On one hand there’s an Olympic gold, and on the other, YOU.